Issue #2: KISS "Experts"

Dateline: March 11, 1998.
This is Dale Sherman, and I wanted to mention something before you read the following article. Some incidents have occurred within the past week that could really be tied into the subject of this months's DIAMOND IN THE ROUGHS, Read into it what you will, it's your decision. I just want it to be known that this article was written a few weeks ago so that I could stay a jump ahead on my writing deadlines. Thus, it really is not intended to be read solely off of what occurred in fandom this past week, and is more reflective of what I remember happening in KISS fandom in the early 1990s. Thanks!

Now where are the keys to the bomb shelter?

The other day a person asked me if I considered myself living "a dream come true" by writing the two KISS books and becoming a KISS expert.

I have to say that the question was a difficult one for me to answer. Because I do consider myself to be lucky in having the two KISS books published professionally. I can only be thankful for the fans that have bought the two books and have allowed me to get my foot in the publishing world and start working on other books about other topics. I can also see what he meant by "a dream come true." I was lucky to turn my fan-interest -- my hobby -- into some type of professional endeavor. I'm sure that is the ultimately fan fantasy in any fandom, be it as a fan of a rock band, a TV show or of a movie or movie star.

I think the part that threw me, however, was the mention of my becoming a KISS expert.

I just don't feel comfortable with such a title. I do not feel that I know more than a lot of fans out there (and I'm sure there are a couple of people right now who are shaking their heads in agreement). I don't consider myself an expert, just someone that had the time and luck to be able to research the band at the length that I had. I do consider myself a writer, true; but a KISS expert? No. Heck, I don't even go on Bob's Trivia chat on The KISS Asylum because the one time that I did, I was pathetic.

Why the problem with the term? Because typically the people who consider themselves "experts" are the ones that give themselves that title. No one else came up and said, "Hey, you know what you're talking about! You're an expert!" No, it's Joe Blow sitting in his Lazy-Boy recliner in his parent's basement who suddenly springs up and say, "I'm an expert! I must tell everyone!" Like knowing the name of Peter's dog is the equivalent of Einstein's Theory of Relativity. ("We need someone to handle the Iraqi crisis, who do we have?" "Well, we've got this guy who knows the name of Peter's dog." "Good! An expert! Bring him in!")

I mean this all in a joking manner, but I sometimes wonder about people who are on the news group, the message boards and even running a few websites who want to proclaim themselves as the "experts." Those who want to puff themselves up in front of other fans by showing off. Maybe I've been in fandom of one type or another for too many years, but that kind of talk usually makes me a bit nauseous when I hear it. (Although it might have something to do with that one time I spent an hour in line at a movie theater with a guy who considered himself to be a LOST IN SPACE expert. A deeper, darker hell does not exist, I tell you.)

Why? Well, let me differentiate between what I would consider to be a knowledgeable fan and someone who is an "expert." A knowledgeable fan is someone that has read a few things about the band and knows a bit about the band's history. In doing so, they like to talk with other fans about what is going on in the news and about the band's past. If a question is asked that they feel they can answer, then they do it in hopes of helping the other person. Possibly even bring up related topics to the question and really discuss in details with other fans about the band. If they don't know the answer, they also are willing to admit it. And willing to listen to others when they may wish to correct them on something already talked about. I consider myself (hopefully) to be a fan like that. I feel the same way about Chris here at the KISS Asylum, and probably 95% of the people on the internet are like this. We just want to share information with each other.

An "expert" is someone that just HAS to have the right answers for everything. They are the end-all for the fans around them, and anyone that doesn't agree with that is obviously just jealous or is ignorant. If they say something wrong and are called on it, it's not their fault -- it's because your information is wrong and they are right; or, someone "high up" told them differently because they were special and privilege to be allowed information that the other lowly fans cannot have; or because they just didn't have the time to look up the answers because they are too busy to do so. They are right, because they are the KISS experts. All other fans should keep that in mind when talking with them.

So, that's why I don't like the term, "expert." I've seen such experts come and go in KISS fandom over the years, always playing themselves up as being more important than anyone else in fandom. Always talking about how they went backstage and had a load of laughs with the KISS members (and isn't it just a gosh-darn shame that you were not one of the elite to have such a privilege?); or, how their collection is so much bigger than anyone else's; how they have the biggest video collection in the world; how Gene calls them on the phone all the time. You get the idea.

A friend was asking me the other day why it seems that so many KISS fans on the Internet seem so intent on puffing themselves up in front of the other fans. ("I have a bigger collection than you." "You suck, because you don't know what you are talking about." "I know a guy who works for someone that knows Gene, and I know something you don't know." etc., etc.) I figured that it has something to do with the majority of KISS fans becoming interested in the group when they were kids or teenagers. The band still holds on to our child-like thinking, and we end up sounding like school kids trying to have the neatest bike or greatest number of toys. Enthusiasm is one thing, and it's understandable. Too much enthusiasm, however, is just plain annoying.

The thing that really bothers me (and, hey, it's my column, so I can express my personal opinions here) is that such individuals state their expertise so many times people end up believing it. Whether it is true or not, doesn't matter. It just becomes an assumption that if Joe Blow here says he has talked with the band enough times, people are going to believe it. And they represent themselves to fandom as a visiting god who has come to make the KISS world so much better with their presence. Meanwhile, behind the scenes, these same people are trying to stab all the other fans in the back because they are afraid that their position in the KISS world will crumble if they don't keep a constant eye on it. Believe me. I saw it happen in the 1980s and I can see it now in the 1990s.

It's a shame. Because all that these "experts" ultimately gain is to turn the house against itself. And what is achieved in the end? Nothing. Pure and simple. These type of experts normally disappear off the face of the earth after they make one too many appearances and show that they have no clothes (although, normally not before they make a last-minute, "heart-felt" speech about "how all they wanted to do was make the KISS world a better place and help other fans, but now all the wicked, evil fans have ruined KISS fandom and I have to go [sob, sob]"). Meanwhile, the real fans end up at each others' throats in either defending their fallen leader or tearing them down.

The only good side is that, it's usually over within a few months and fans then go through a good three or four year period of calmness before another "expert" rears his/her ugly head. Then we go through the whole cycle again.

So, what am I finally saying here? First, don't believe all that you hear from the fans around you. No one of us is really any better off than any other. No one has more information than anyone else, and no one is going to "save" KISS fandom. Believe it or not, we are all in the same boat, and we are have the same ignorance.

If someone comes up to you and give you the feeling that they are "experts", do one of two things: A) knock them upside the head and see if you can beat any sense into them; or, B) run away screaming. Either option will probably make your life a lot easier in the long run.

Finally, in the end, don't take them and don't take fandom so seriously. The sooner we see that it's all just a silly joke, the better off we all are. Once they see that we're not impressed by the title, the "experts" will revert back to being just fans again. Like you and me.

Just wanted to get that off my chest. Maybe next time I'll come up with something a bit more light-hearted. See you at the record bins.

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