You Wanted The Rest, You Got The Rest. The Hottest Parody Of The Group, KISS!

The only blemish-free bit of kisstory relates to how the group came to be. Ace's sneakers, the 8-hour rehearsals, and the evolvement from Wicked Lester into Kiss is well known and surprisingly accurate as it originates from Paul and Gene. It is only with the recording of the first album that kisstory becomes rife with fabrications and cover-ups.

Most fans regard this album as the rawest and hungriest in Kiss' collection, but few realize how many problems existed within the band even at this early stage. Confusion began immediately over picking stage names. Stanley Eisen (Paul) wanted to use Paul Frehley's (Ace's) first name. Ace in turn liked Paul's real first name and began calling himself "Stanley Frehley." Paul reportedly told Ace that he couldn't call himself "Stanley Frehley"; there couldn't be two "Stanleys" in the band, because Paul intended to use Ace's real first name for Paul's fake first name but switch his real first name to his fake last name. This confused Frehley so much that he didn't know what to call himself. For a short period he was simply referred to as "lead guitarist." Peter, upset that the other members could never remember how to pronounce "Crisscoula," asked that he just be called "Peter Crisco," and later "Peter Criss." Chaim Witz, while looking at names of old movie actresses, considered Audrey Hepburn and Bridgette Bardot before settling on Jean (Gene) Simmons.

The actual album was recorded over a 10-hour period, mostly due to limited studio time. Each member, however, thought differently about what the album would be. Peter assumed "Love Theme from Kiss" would contain a Gene Krupa-like 8-minute drum solo, until Richie Wise told him this wouldn't fit into the "laid-back vibe of the tune." Peter naturally became upset and insisted that unless he was allowed to play a solo on the album that he wouldn't let the band record any of his Chelsea songs (a threat that would continue for 2 years).

Paul chose to record his vocals in his platform boots in order to put him in a "live concert" frame of mind. He had trouble adapting to the 7-inch heels, however. He would tip over more often than not while singing, knocking Gene's mike into Gene's face, thus stopping the song (in fact, "Firehouse" was jokingly called "Goddamnit, Eisen" for a while, due to the phrase Gene would invariably yell out within the first minute). Gene insisted on recording on a large wooden platform 9 inches above everyone else, much to the consternation of the band. From this vantage point he found it easy to see the entire group ("Watchin' You" was written from this platform but did not take on its real significance - how it was directed specifically at Paul -- until "Hotter Than Hell" was recorded ["Hotter Than Hell" Alternate Album Focus coming soon for more information].). Ace simply liked being off the streets and in the studio, occasionally stopping to stare at his guitar and commenting on "how far out these frets are."

Packaging
1. Kenny Kerner, in a 1975 interview from Groovy Producers magazine, detailed Ace's design of the Kiss logo: "GP: I understand you were there when the logo was drawn? KK: Oh yeah, man. Ace drew that thing over lunch. What was freaky about that (logo) was that Ace told me he came up with it based on this dream or vision or (coughs) whatever, man. You know how that first album has that logo made up of, like, light bulbs? He told me -- I'll never forget this -- Ace told me his dream was, like, incorporated into that. He said the "K" has 72 bulbs in it, as like a tip of the hat to Gene and Paul, cause 1972 is basically when the idea for Kiss came along, right? The "I" has 36 bulbs. He told me he knows he'll be out of the makeup and even have his own band by the time he's 36 years old. Isn't that weird? Like anybody would want to see that dude without his makeup, you know? (laughs and coughs) And each "S" has 42 bulbs. Put that together and you get 84, right? Now this is the one that freaks me out, man. He said in 1984, some guy will join Kiss -- he didn't know if he'd be wearing makeup or what -- but that this was the guy Ace would actually COME BACK LATER TO REPLACE! Like Ace would leave, right, and then later come back INTO the group! Oh man, I don't know. Ace can be downright, like, weird, man, you know? But I always call that logo 'Ace's crystal ball,' 'cause he swears it'll all come true."

2. Kiss costumes were obviously just evolving at this point. Peter's cat earring came from his sister, and Gene's scarf and Ace's "necklace" (actually a coat button) were borrowed, not from their mother's closets, but from Paul's actual wardrobe at the time.

3. The cover shot was snapped immediately after the group saw photos of Peter's "cat in a fireworks factory" makeup. Paul pursed his lips to keep from laughing, Gene screamed, and Ace rolled his eyes. Peter merely stared off into space and thought about which Chelsea songs would sound good on the second album.

Songs
1. "Strutter," originally called "Stanley," was written by Gene about Paul based on some of Paul's more "feminine" qualities in coming up with his stage persona ("He wears his satins like a lady, he gets his way just like a child") Paul received co-writing credit after changing all references from "he" to "she" and insisting on singing the revamped song.

2. Paul wrote an angry response to Gene with "100,000 Years" after Gene got angry about Paul being late to a rehearsal session. The songs lyrics drip with sarcasm about how sorry Paul was about being late. Gene received writing credit for coming up with the beginning of Ace's one-note solo. Also note the first of several occurrences in KISStory of Paul losing his train of thought ("I'm just about to ooh yeah").

3. Even though Peter thought himself to be the "star" of the band due to his experience and age, he was a little of jealous of Paul (see KISSTORY for those details). Paul, however, sensed a comradeship in Peter, someone Paul could take under his wing and guide. Paul also realized that he needed a friend if he hoped to keep Gene in check. Paul therefore let Peter sing not only one of the key songs on the album but insisted on his appearance on "Nothin' to Lose." This obvious trade-off - an "I'll let you sing these songs if you watch my back" deal -- would quickly develop into something much more serious (see "Hotter Than Hell").

4. While doing some "research" for "Cold Gin," Ace passed out and landed on top of the microphone, which picked up his heartbeat. This was added to the end of "Black Diamond," and then dubbed over with a bass drum.

5.The handclaps in "Nothin' to Lose" took 30 minutes to record. Ace was told to clap on the backbeat, but he said his hands felt numb. They then told him to just slap his hands on his knees, which began a giggling fit of Ace playing patty-cake with himself. The band quickly decided to pull in an uncredited musician, Bob Kulick, to perform Ace's handclaps.

6. "Kissin' Time" was originally left off of the first album pressing because the band didn't want to be associated with a Barry Manilow song; subsequent pressings added the song and credited it to "Mann and Lowe". The song essentially told of how the group would "kiss" the various cities it would play and relied on everyone in the group contributing the names of cities to sing. It was originally designed as a four-verse song with each member taking a verse, and each member attempted to write their own verse. Gene liked the Midwest, Paul like the South and the East, and Peter liked the West. Ace's verse, however, was so obscure and hard to sing that it was quickly cut. Here, uncovered for the first time, is Ace's missing verse: "We're kissin' Poughkepsie and down to Greenwich Village/We'll kiss in Salt Lake City where we'll rape and pillage/The girls in Milwaukee are like live-action porn/They'll kiss me on Jendel, the planet where I was born." Thanks to his post-writing drinking binge, Ace quickly forgot he even wrote a verse and the band gratefully never mentioned it again.

5. "Love Theme from Kiss," the first single, was intended to be used in Kiss' first TV-movie, an unprecedented public relations push orchestrated by Neil Bogart. Bogart was obviously looking to capitalize on the success of the hit movie "Love Story." In the movie, a man and woman meet at a Kiss concert and then separate. They meet each other again 20 years later and fall in love. The idea was rejected by the three networks, with CBS even telling Bogart that "a crappy movie like this wouldn't work in 100 years."

One other less-known fact
Ace originally expressed interest in breathing fire on stage and told the band he'd work on a routine for "Firehouse." Instead of buying the standard flammable mix used by magicians, Ace tried MadDog 20/20 (he said he was just practicing "swishing the stuff around in my mouth first" and would work on spitting it out and lighting it once he felt more comfortable). Gene quickly stepped in for the trick, but Paul, obviously fearing a shift of power in the band to Gene, countered that all 4 members should breathe fire at the same time! This excited Ace, who mistakenly grabbed Gene's actual lighter fluid and downed half a bottle. With Ace's unreliability, Paul conceded this battle to Gene and instead insisted on going out to find a "kick-ass fireman's helmet" to wear on stage during the song. Gene "accidentally" melted the first one, so Paul bought the metal one he wore on stage during the rest of the '70s.

Awards (semi-serious ones, but just for fun)
Worst attempt at rhyming: quart/store

Biggest "Huh?" moment: Lyrics to "Deuce" (What's my grandma got to do with anything? Who's Jim? How do I know when someone is worth a deuce? What is a deuce anyway?)

Song you could picture Muppets singing: "Let Me Know"

The "I could've written that" line: "It doesn't matter what you wanna do/it doesn't matter where you wanna go"

Most poetic line: "Your day is sorrow and madness/got you under their thumb."

Best, worst, or funniest sexual reference: "I thought about the back door" (I actually had to look hard for a reference like this - weird that there aren't a lot of blatant sex songs on this album)

Classic Kiss moment: The first 8 measures of "Deuce"

Best riff: "Black Diamond"

Coolest/best lead guitar part: Middle of "Firehouse" solo

Coolest/best bass part: "Let Me Know"

Coolest/best drum part: "100,000 Years"/Cymbals during "way down in Tennessee"

Coolest/best Paul moment: "100,000 Years"

Eyebrow-raising vocal: Peter's "you got nothin' to lose" before the second chorus.

Lyrics I misunderstood when I was younger: "She'll adore you and she'll floor you with her wisdom and amnesia". "My head is broke and I'm so tired" "And you're wonderin' does she love you, if not come set you down" "Come on goshdarnit, wake up San Diego, Milwaukee. "You mind if I sit down for a while, you'll reacquaint yourself with my star."

You Wanted The Rest, You Got The Rest. The Hottest Parody Of The Group, KISS!

© 2000 Rich Hund/KISS ASYLUM.
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