Jim Kerr | Rock & Roll Morning Show

“Gene Simmons planned on being a success the moment he launched himself out of his mother’s womb.” —Gene Simmons

We are all privileged to share a planet with Gene Simmons. Not only has he sold more than one hundred million albums with KISS, and made love to a countless number of women, he has also sold roughly one billion dollars’ worth of merchandise, including his bestselling books, KISS and Make-Up and Me, Inc. Now, in the spirit of Chuck Norris Facts, Christina Vitaglianopays homage to rock’s living legend in the authorized parody GENE SIMMONS IS A POWERFUL AND ATTRACTIVE MAN: AND OTHER IRREFUTABLE FACTS.

Did you know?

·        Gene Simmons can get to the center of a Tootsie Pop in one lick
·        Most rock stars travel by tour bus, Gene Simmons travels in the Death Star
·        Gene Simmons has never seen a red light
·        Gene Simmons does not need a toaster; bread gladly sets itself on fire for him
·        When Gene Simmons walks into a strip club, the girls pay him
·        Gene Simmons is the reason Mick Jagger “can’t get no satisfaction”
·        Gene Simmons doesn’t need an umbrella because rain knows better
·        Stan Lee was going to make Gene Simmons a Superhero, but decided to stick to fiction.